And for once, wish I had known the hardest. It’s the lust of the possibility to be able to swap lives, me amongst the dead, him amongst the living. The blues comes to me with this cold October wind and everything’s back to monochromatic this lonely saturday night: Nothing but silence around me.

I’ve come a long way from the dolls of decay to the hollow where I’m lost and found. The sight of light seems distant in this lonesome day. How come one turns out to be the most desired man when one is blissful and then how does he turn out to be the lonely wolf when sadness and sorrow corrupt a heart?

Nothing’s ever certain, that’s for sure, the long road upwards seems so heavy and my shoulders can’t bare to walk an overwhelmed earth alone.
No calling for aid tonight, at least not to the only choice of life: death.

For my own consideration, this scene pulls me backwards when I’m in-between, numb and feeling all the pain of a world that turns its back on me each and everyday, despite of what I say. They always look away.
I try to find where to put all this blame, all in all, there’s no one I can tell, so the blame remains spilled in my own mouth slowly dimnishing in my very own heart. I’m such a fucked up mind and I’m yet to be captured alive to be killed. There is no midnight sun today.

But yet, who’s to tell everything’s gonna be ok.

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